blackhawkkid
osh I'm a little smarter than you give me credit for... and i wasnt mad that you were editing its just i think that if your are going to just post edits you should have a character in the contest. just to be fair. anyway i like the story plot i... just kinda dont get the writing style i can read it its just odd to
joshyface
Also, I don't think me critiquing people and not entering was unfair. They put their writing on the internet, they should expect scrut
blackhawkkid
mm well i'm gonna end this conversation here though i could say that i do have a near college level lexile which i do. and i have about a million smart remarks that would start a fight. i'm ending it h
raf9900
First of all, @Talonkid: I see. Rushing, huh? No suspense? I'm most definitely going to work on that. Hey, if people have to themselves (no matter how lazy they are) to read my story, then there's got to be something wrong. Looking into it, the plot is a whole lot of battle dumping until, say, chapter 4 or so. Of course, fan fics aren't exactly known for suspense, and the game itself (again, in my humble opinion) took a little while to construct the story.(EL) Sure it did, but it's a lot easier to keep people engaged in repeated battles in an isometric tactics game than said battles in written form.EDIT - Just got owned. Guess my idea to keep things close to the game goes down the hole the moment you realize fan fiction can't have the same pace that a game. EDIT end -@Josh: It's not that I want an opinion that bad. Like I said before, I can freak out a bit when it comes to my stories. Don't take that nonsense ramble too serously. Sure, I'd be glad to have some extra critique. As you can see, I took macfluffers feedback on the story and your on my caracter of the contest without much problem. Turth be told, I'm not getting any better with cheers and incentives. Altough they keep me going, critiques are worth a lot more.That said, you two really don't get along much, do you? I honestly wouldn't try to go deep into that subject you're talking about since the random talk incident. It really, REALLY doesn't seem to be getting anywhere. Is just that I don't like to see good writers fighting... /smile.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":)" border="0" alt="smile.gif
blackhawkkid
a raf your right we dont get along... i guess i'm kinda competitive and have a strong set of beliefs. and i've had to put up with jerks in my normal life so i'm always a little defensive on everything. that being said i'm glad your looking in to my problem. like i said i like the story but it's all kinda just dropped on the reader. idk maybe it's just me.... anyhow i'll try to get around to reading the rest of the story later. have a good day and good luck in the character cont
joshyface
dk, I think we get along well eno
blackhawkkid
aaa.... we have our different opinions but we do get along well en
raf9900
hat sure is one odd way to get along... But if you two think so, then fine. I promise there will be no more interruptions from me. Unless, well, someone stats curs
blackhawkkid
ont have to worry bout me cursing i'm a little more respectful over the internet... course by now in real life one of us would probably have a fork in his
joshyface
nd at that point I would have sued for assault
blackhawkkid
nd i would flee the country to escape you then come back five years later and show up and say hi... then disappear and never be seen again by the likes of
raf9900
Chapter 6 got here. I'm still working on that drama thing, but I think that's less of a worry this far on the story.Are you ready for some intense emotions? I hope
joshyface
should actually read this. Maybe I'll edit it. Editing is more fun than read
blackhawkkid
ang the sixth chapter? i still havent gotten round to reading it this isnt your fault i just dont have
raf9900
@Talon: No hurry. i'm planning on making chapter 3 a little more smooth for reading, so you'll forget what you were about to do and be kept hypnotized until the very end. Yes I'm good. Better than anyone in the world, actually. Maybe I'll open a writing school if I get bored later on. Seriously now, chapter three is the most straight of them all. I'll edit it to make it better as soon as possi
joshyface
QUOTE (Raf9900 @ Sep 25 2011, 07:57 PM) quotec@Josh: Well, that's some curious way of thinking indeed. A shame you'll be out for some time... I'll be awaiting anxiously. I hope I can solve this major problem by then.QuoteEndQuoteEEndWhat major problem? Me not reading it? I do not see how that is a problem. Or are you talking about me not editing it. Cause in that case, I still don't see what the problem
blackhawkkid
o he's talking bout my problem reading it j
raf9900
QUOTE (talonkid13 @ Sep 16 2011, 11:43 PM) quotecraf i think it's just that a ton of the story is kinda just dumped on the reader. i dont mean it's bad it's just almost hard to understand.QuoteEndQuoteEEndthis problem. Since he's not the only person who said that to me (Who exactly told me that, doesn't matter.), I decided to work on that right away. Altought I honestly think this is more a problem in the start, where I may have put too much action. Later on, however, I have gone too much in drama, but I'm not s
joshyface
H, okay. I can fix that. I can do a quick edit, tonight or tomorrow. (may
raf9900
ou sure? don't know if you have noticed, but it's a long. Well, if you really could do that I'd be grate
