joshyface
EDIT: If you don't know, a DBQ is a type of es
rainen
lright I made the edits you pointed
rainen
ince the last time I posted here I added a prologue and made a few changes thought the entire story. I also added a lot of new story to it. In case you were wondering the words at the end of the prologue are in la
mokona96
QUOTE quotecBefore he realised what had happened he lifted his hand, pointing his palm at the fire and a spark flew off of a small branch.QuoteEndQuoteEEnd I can't really tell who "he" is, but I'll assume it's Rainen, contrary to the text. Anyway, you'll need to get that fi
joshyface
elcome back Rainen, I haven't read your updated story, yet. I'll get to reading and maybe editing s
rainen
Rainen: Main character of the story with an unknown yet direct connection to Mystic, the creator of the universe. He is 17 years old and a junior in highschool. He is friends with Juliun and Lailya (based on the part of my personality that enjoys adventure)Mystic: The creator of the universe and the first being of power who has mysteriously dissapeared. (based on the part of my personality that likes creating things)Juliun(comic relief): A witty underachiever who is always there to crack a joke. Enjoys playing games and widely uses game speak in spoken conversation. He is 16, a Junior and a long time friend of Rainen(based on the part of my personality that enjoys games and comedy)Lailya: A 17 year old girl who has a crush on Rainen. She gets agitated easily around others but never holds onto grudges. She has been friends with Rainen since they met in preschool.(based on my feelings... she's a girl because of the emotional nature that is her basis... and the fact that theres only 1 other main character that's a girl... for now.)Oracle: A mysterious enigma who is all-knowing and seems to be directing Rainen through a quick growth in power. Frozen in a mysterious prisonPlisca: A princess form the titanium based planet titanous. She has been infused with the powers of mystic essence and is forever linked to Rainen and his mission.(based on my first girlfriend... yea i know its cheesy)Drakovan(spelling not final. Anagram of dark nova): a mysterious being of power formed when mystic essence and dark matter got sucked into a blue hypergiant, causing it to implode in on itself. Once he was formed what remained of the star exploded creating dark essence and the blood orb.Mystic essence: positive energy that flows all throughout the universe.that's all for now. If i added any more then It would be confus
joshyface
I'm going to point some things out right now. -I was lazy at the start and end. The pages with red are the ones i was actually paying attention with. And before you comment on the handwriting being different, I am ambidextrous trained on the left hand. Therefore, my right hand writing is much, much worse.-the pages are not in order. -I didn't edit the prologue or page 8.-I didn't edit page 8 because you need separate paragraphs and it was an ugly mess. -I didn't edit the prologue because, I was lazy. -COMMAS AND ATTRIBUTION ARE IMPORTANT. :<Next time, give me an extra enter or an indent between each paragraph. This is also not a complete edit, I didn't comment on your content m
rainen
hanks for the help. I'll get working on editing. Some of the problems that you listed don't exist in the word file on my story. They're just there because of when I copied everything over to here I didn't bother to go back and fix t
joshyface
. Also, sorry if my editing has some insulting commentary. It kinda just happens when I e
rainen
w man this takes me back. I think I started my story over 3 or 4 times since I posted this thing... So much nostalgia in her
AzureTarot
QUOTE (rainen @ Oct 28 2013, 09:58 PM) quotecAw man this takes me back. I think I started my story over 3 or 4 times since I posted this thing... So much nostalgia in here...QuoteEndQuoteEEndNostalgia is great, isn't it?
rainen
QUOTE (Pryo Gx @ Oct 30 2013, 07:03 PM) quotecNostalgia is great, isn't it?QuoteEndQuoteEEndMost certainly. Did you take a read? As sad as it is to say, the version I just posted is still quite infantile. I more or less abandoned writing this story in favor of other writing pursuits and my abilities as a writer have grown quite considerably as a result. Some day I'll surely pick this story back up again but 'till then I'll just keep this as a memor
AzureTarot
QUOTE (rainen @ Oct 31 2013, 12:24 AM) quotecMost certainly. Did you take a read? As sad as it is to say, the version I just posted is still quite infantile. I more or less abandoned writing this story in favor of other writing pursuits and my abilities as a writer have grown quite considerably as a result. Some day I'll surely pick this story back up again but 'till then I'll just keep this as a memorial.QuoteEndQuoteEEndI... think I read it a while back! My memory isn't exactly the greatest, but nonetheless /smile.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":)" border="0" alt="smile.gif" />Might try to read it again later on though, depends on how late it gets. Edit: Nvm on the "try to", I did it early, pretty good and makes me feel like writing on a dream I had a long time ago (or did it occur several times? I can't remember on when, but I remember the basis...)....I also definitely encourage you to pick it back up again, and maybe add some new ones /wink.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=";)" border="0" alt="wink.gif
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